Raccoon Powder Party

So apparently, smaller creatures just like to fuck with me in the forest, I guess I'm certainly no Snow White.

I was woken up at about 5:30 this morning by some strange noises and a lot of rustling right outside the tent. I grabbed my knife and flashlight and opened the window to take a peek.
It would seem I had forgotten to properly close our brew bag which sat right outside the tent door.
Feasting in a pile of sugar, coffee, chocolate powder and coffee-mate, were three fucking large Raccoons. I don't exaggerate their size. They must have been nearly 2 feet long with asses any ghetto girl would be proud of.
I sat shining the light on them and watching in amazement as they munched away at all the contents of the bag. Just my luck.
I got up and opened the tent door. They didn't move, just kept on munching.
I hissed and waved my arms about.
One ran away into the bushes, followed quickly by another with the coffee-mate bag tightly gripped in his teeth.
The third one sat in a pile of instant coffee granules, with chocolate all over his paws, and stared at me, not budging.
I hissed and waved my arms again. He stood his ground.
I looked around the campsite, shrugged, and then booted the fat bastard as hard as I could.
It was a kick worthy of a winning field goal punt. He flew in a perfect arc and crashed into the bushes.
I smiled, job done, then got back in the tent to try and get some more sleep before daylight.

When I woke in the morning I went outside to survey the damage.
Strewn across the floor was the entire contents of the brew bag: cider packets and coffee filters littered the floor, a damp pile of sugar with a scuff mark from my boot and empty, torn open sandwich bags. There was a trail of coffee-mate from the tent, round the table and fire pit, and off into the bushes; and chocolate paw prints on everything. We had tied a trash bag to the top of a post, the bottom of the bag was torn open and there were chocolate paw prints up the side of the post. In fact there were chocolate paw prints on pretty much everything we had left out that night, leaving a trail of destruction you could follow round the campsite.
It took me nearly an hour to clean up the mess they had left, and to top it all, I didn't even find a dead or injured Raccoon in the bushes.
I miss the Chipmunks!